Melt Page 9

  Seventeen

  Samantha

  “No, no, put me on the phone with them. NOW.” I tried not to scream, but it had been that kind of day.

  The fire marshal got on the phone, explaining the situation, as my rangers in California squawked in the background. My head hurt, my vision was getting fuzzy, and it was way past the time that I was supposed to be at work.

  After a few more instructions and handing out my cell phone number to a bunch of various sources, I hung up, letting my forehead hit the desk. I probably had another hour here of emails and reports, and I was so drained I felt worse than the time I’d been in labor for sixteen hours. Just kidding … but in this moment, it felt close.

  The forest fire in one of our California national parks had started three days ago, but it had reached peak temperatures and ravaging today. I’d been on the phone all day, trying to calm people down, trying to formulate a plan, get answers.

  My cell phone rings on the desk, my lamp the only thing illuminating the office now. Everyone had headed home, but I couldn’t in good conscience, go.

  “Hello?” I snap into the speaker, not bothering to see who it is.

  “Hey sweetie … I know you’re busy today, but remember I have that poker night with the girls?” Mom’s voice was tentative and sweet, and I knew she wasn’t trying to get me riled up.

  Shit, I hadn’t remembered. And Lennon was still at her house. And I had to be here for the foreseeable hours. Typically, I never complained about being a mother. Sure, there were the little everyday gripes, but I knew how lucky I was with my daughter, and how lucky I was to have a mother nearby now who provided so much help.

  But it was times like right now that my internal struggle was the worst. That my need to feel like a good mother, and also a successful employee, was completely conflicting.

  It didn’t help that Derek had texted me today, cancelling his plans to come out here yet again. It had been two and a half months since we’d moved here, and in that time, he hadn’t bothered to come visit his daughter once. I was past annoyance and onto the stage of indifference, which was probably worse. If he didn’t care about being in her life, than I wouldn’t concern myself with it either.

  “I’m sorry, Mom, it’s been a hard day. I’ll … I’ll be there soon.” That was a lie, and I knew that I would be sacrificing one or the other.

  And even though it was something that made me tear up, that thing was usually my career.

  I dropped my head into my hands, massaging my throbbing temples as I tried to formulate a plan and stand up from my desk.

  My cell phone rings again, and I’m reluctant to even look at it as I know my mother is probably badgering me about her social outing tonight.

  “Yes, Mom, I’ll be right there.”

  “Oh hey, did I get you at a bad time?”

  Jake’s voice filters through my ear, a more soothing dose of medicine than I knew it could be. I choke up, my anxiety and rationality strings almost completely cut.

  “Sorry, it’s been a … rough day. I thought you were my mom, I have to pick Lennon up but I also need to work—“

  “You’re still at work?”

  I looked at the clock which read seven p.m. “That I am. There have been a bunch of brush fires that turned into forest fires today in California, and I’ve been dealing with crisis all day. Now I have to drive over to pick her up, but should be stapled to my desk …”

  I felt my nerves fraying.

  “I don’t want to overstep but … let me pick her up. I’ll grab your keys from your mom and take Lennon home so you can work.”

  My immediate reaction was no. “That’s okay, I’ll figure something else out.”

  I didn’t want to tell him that I was still unsure about really introducing him into Lennon’s life. As of now, he’d just been a … friend that we saw on the weekends sometimes. One that mommy talked to on the phone, or who dropped by with a treat now and then.

  “Come on, Samantha, I want to help. You can trust her with me, I want to be there for you in any way I can. And you need to work.”

  The idea toyed in my brain, two sides completely at war. Was it too soon for him to become integral to her? What would happen if we broke up? But what would happen if this was really great, for both myself and my daughter? Was I scared of that?

  Yes. I was a wimp. History had shown me that men didn’t stick around for my daughter.

  “I know it’s a big step for you, it’s a step for me too. But it’s one I want to take. So please, let me pick Lennon up.” His voice was quiet but serious, and I knew that he knew the weight of this too.

  Hesitantly, I pushed aside the fear and pulled up my big girl panties. “Oh … okay. Full disclosure? I’m not one hundred percent on board, but I know that you would never let anything happen to my daughter. That she is my life and if you ever harmed a hair on her head, I’d hunt you down and cut off your balls.”

  “Duly noted. I will drive the speed limit, not feed her candy, fight off any rabid dogs, not become a victim to the bedtime story beg … anything else?”

  His sarcasm was putting me a little more at ease, but I took on my tough mom tone. “My mom will give you the spare key she has, and I’ll call her and my doorman to let them know you’re approved to take care of Lennon. She’s already had dinner most likely, so if she wants she can have one cookie or a pack of fruit snacks before bed. Don’t worry about bath time, and she’ll know how to get into her pajamas herself so just leave her to that. She likes a sippy-cup of water on the nightstand, preferably her Nemo cup, and only read her one bedtime story. Because as you said, it’ll be like waterboard torture if you don’t stop at one. You’ll be reading until your eyes fall out.”

  Silence met me at the other end of the phone. “Jake?”

  He cleared his throat. “Sorry, I was just typing it all down in an email to myself so I make sure I won’t forget anything. I’ll text you when I pick her up, when we get to the apartment, and when she goes to sleep.”

  My heart sped up a beat, a tickle forming in my throat. “Thank you for doing this. You don’t know how much it means. I’ll try to wrap up here soon.”

  “You don’t have to thank me, Samantha, I want to be a support system for you. Just take your time, I know how important this is for those people out in California.”

  His willingness to take care of Lennon was sexier than anything he’d done thus far, and he couldn’t possibly know how much he’d just melted another large chunk of the iceberg that had become my heart since the breakup.

  We hung up, my stress level going down marginally, but my anxiety tethering to what was happening with Jake and Lennon. I got back to work, waiting for his texts to come through.

  Eighteen

  Jake

  Backing away from the door, I closed it so gingerly that you’d think there was a bomb about to explode instead of an adorable three-year-old girl.

  No one ever told me that dealing with a toddler was like deciding whether to cut the red wire or the blue wire. If I put in a Disney movie, depending on which one, would she get more tired and settle down or would it amp her up? Would an Oreo give her a sugar high, or were strawberry fruit snacks the way to go? When she asked for a bedtime story, which one put her to sleep and which had her pleading for another story?

  I was literally more exhausted than I’d ever been in my life, tiredness seeped into the marrow of my bones, and I had no idea how Samantha did this every day. If anything, it made me want to kiss her entire body in worship. If I was able to get up off this couch without my muscles protesting.

  It had taken me two hours to accomplish everything that I knew Samantha would have done in about half an hour. I picked Lennon up, answered her fifty questions in the car, got her into the apartment while juggling bags of her things, chased her around trying to get her changed and settled, and then finagled with her to finally fall asleep.

  I’d just run a marathon, and I felt my eyes drooping as the apartment locks
squeaked.

  “Hello …” Samantha walked in, her thighs rubbing against the long pencil skirt she wore.

  Damn, this was a sight I could get used to coming home to.

  “Shhh! Be very, very quiet. There is a child hunting adults,” I whispered in my best Elmer Fudd accent.

  “Well, I can see who won this battle.” Her smile is tired but happy, and I want to wrap my hands around her shoulders and squeeze.

  Hearing her sigh while I massage her … yeah, that’s what I want right fucking now.

  “Hey, I got her to sleep, didn’t I? I’d say I slayed the giant.” I patted myself on the back. Literally.

  She set her oversized purse down—what did women carry in there anyway?—and came to sit next to me on the couch.

  “Thank you for taking care of her tonight, Jake. Seriously, it’s above and beyond what should be asked of you, and I really appreciate it.”

  She leans forward and lightly kisses me, an action I can feel tugging at my balls. It’s a miracle I can think straight around this woman.

  “Why do you keep doing that?” I can’t help but be a little bit offended, and I move back on the couch.

  It’s a total passive aggressive, looking for a fight move, and I know it. I feel like a wimp, but I don’t like that she discounts me like that.

  Samantha sighs, taking her hair out of the clip it was in so that it pools around her shoulders. Momentarily, I’m distracted, because Jesus she is radiant. Even after a tough day at work, she looks like she just stepped off the pages of a Maxim magazine … kind of like the ones I’d hide under my bed when I was fifteen.

  “Jake, you said at the beginning that you wanted to take this slow, that you weren’t looking to become a father. I guess I’ve just been trying to respect that.”

  “Well, what if I changed my mind?” I know I sound like the three-year-old now.

  “You don’t get to change your mind when it comes to a child. You have to be all in, even on the worst days.” Her smile is sympathetic.

  I muster up all of my gusto. “I’m here for everything, I want you to know that. I may have said those things in the beginning, but we have gone slow. A date night here, a week of talking and not seeing each other. A couple of hours with Lennon. And do you know what I feel in those moments when I’m not here with you two? I miss you. I miss this. I may not understand the full extent of it, but I haven’t been given the chance to be here for the three years you’ve had with her. I’m allowed to be a little unsure, as I’m sure you are some days too. I do know that I want more, that we should give this a real try. That I want you to count on me, not just come to me in crisis. I’m in this, with you. With her. Give me that chance.”

  There is a long pause, the light from the TV changing on our faces as cartoon characters dance across the screen. Samantha’s expression is unreadable, and my heart pounds so much that I’m scared I’ll actually throw the organ up.

  “So what, do you want to be my boyfriend, then?” She rolls her eyes, settling back into my arms and ghosting her lips over my neck.

  “As a thirty-year-old bachelor, am I too old to be a boyfriend?” I tease her, sliding my hand up under the material of her shirt.

  “Hm, I don’t think so. As long as you don’t think that having a twenty-seven-year-old girlfriend is robbing the cradle.”

  It was childish, and almost surreal, that my heart jumped when she said the word girlfriend.

  I rubbed my hand up and down her back in comforting circles. “I mean, I would also take King of Your Heart, Master of Your Soul, Fetcher of Your Purse. Doesn’t really matter to me, so you settle on which one is best.”

  Samantha lets out a low chuckle, one that has me hardening in my pants instantly. “All the above. But just so we’re clear … we’re really doing this? The monogamy thing? Because I don’t take that lightly. You know my past, you know that I want more than just a warm body next to me.”

  I stare straight into her eyes, trying to relay my message to the deepest part of her. “I know what you need, and I want to give it to you.”

  For a second, we just sit on the couch in the silence, the weight of commitment passing between us.

  She breaks it, rubbing my leg over my pants. “And since you want to give me that, I want to give you something too.”

  I smile and I can see her eye my dimple.

  “Oh don’t get so ahead of yourself, King of my Heart. It’s late, and I want you to stay here if you want to. But you also can’t stay in bed with me … confusion for the kid and all. So to celebrate our first night of monogamy, I invite you to sleep on my couch.”

  Her words carried sarcasm, but there was worry mixed in her tone as well. I knew how much this meant, what the stakes were for Samantha. She was letting me in, even if it was a foot halfway into the hallway and not all the way into the proverbial bedroom. It’ll be torture to sleep just feet from her, but she’s giving me a chance, the very thing I asked for.

  If I can do this, sleep on her too-small couch overnight, then we’ll wake up in a very different place. For one, I’ll get to make her eggs again. But Samantha will also have to begin to explain and introduce Lennon to the idea of me … and that’s a giant leap for Jake-kind.

  “Do I at least get a pillow and a blanket? And maybe a good night blow job?” Gently, I push her back.

  My lips meet her neck, sucking and tasting the sweet skin beneath her ear. My hands find her ribs, touch the edges of her lace bra.

  “Jake …” She groans, arousal and scolding mixing together in her voice.

  “I know, gorgeous, but I’m just showing you what you’ll be missing while you’re lying in that big, empty bed without me.” I was being a taunting prick, but she felt too damn good.

  Samantha slides out from under me like a ninja, leaving me very high and very dry.

  “And you’ll be out here, sleeping with Lennon’s Dora the Explorer blanket. So don’t be a dirty dog, because Boots sees everything.”

  She whispers in my ear before sashaying away, giving me a very nice view. Just when a guy gets a girlfriend, he gets completely cock-blocked.

  And honestly, the night squished on the couch in the living room was one of the best in a while.

  Nineteen

  Jake

  I straightened the pencil cup on my desk one more time, looking around to make sure everything was in place.

  “You look like a schizo right now …” Alice slings her bag over her shoulder.

  “Stop it! He looks cute. He’s just trying to impress his girlfriend, give him some much deserved credit. I never thought I’d see the day honestly.”

  “You ladies do know that I’m right here, right?” I looked up, amused, as Alice and Jana stand in the doorway of my office.

  “Whoops, I knew we should have learned Morse code, like Jim and Pam did on The Office. We could talk about him so much more easily in his presence.” Alice scratches her nose with her middle finger.

  It’s the end of the day at the end of a long week. After the food truck festival, there has been some buzz about Cones & Corks … the exact kind of buzz we were aiming for. Alice has already met with two potential investors who are interested in bringing us to a storefront. I couldn’t be any more psyched about it, or fucking nervous. Deals like this took time, and often fell through. Even if we did sign a contract, there was no guarantee that a commercial location would be successful. There was so much up in the air that I felt as if I were juggling six plates that were also lit on fire.

  But I had no time for worry tonight. Well, except when it came to impressing my girlfriend. Samantha was on her way over to see our offices, and I wanted everything to be perfect. Mostly because this would be our first couple of hours alone in a week; I’d slept on the couch again two nights ago since things went well the first time. I’d woken up to Lennon almost drawing on my face in Sharpie marker before Samantha screamed at her … what a beautiful way to open your eyes to the world.

  “Go home, you deserv
e it.” As much as I wanted to eventually introduce my friends to Samantha, I wanted her all to myself tonight.

  “We get it, we’re going. Just don’t have sex on my desk.” Jana wags her finger at me.

  Alice bursts out laughing as she walks toward the front door. “She said it, not me.”

  They leave in a fit of laughter, and I should yell back something sarcastic, but my phone vibrates on the desk.

  Samantha: I’ll be there in two.

  Jake: I’ll be the one with no pants on.

  I was only semi-kidding. Because ever since she’d agreed to come have a tour of the office, I’d been thinking about fucking her brains out on my desk.

  Walking out to the front door, I waited to see car lights come around the corner and into the parking lot. The sun was setting, the nights getting darker more quickly as the end of August approached. The sky was streaked with pink and purple, the clouds looking to blend in like marshmallows. Soon it would be fall, and then winter. We’d go into hibernation, because who the hell ran out to the sidewalk for the ice cream truck in three feet of snow? That’s why I was banking on this storefront. Not that it would be ready until next year, but I could just imagine coming up with creative cold month flavors. Eggnog, pumpkin spice, cranberry mulled wine … the thought had me wanting to go into the test kitchen and whip some up right now.

  Headlights shine in my eyes, and then Samantha is swinging her car into a spot.

  “Hi, you.” Her smile is my undoing as she gets out.

  Long legs in a white work skirt stride toward me, and I may have to swallow my tongue to keep it from lolling on the ground like one of those cartoon characters. Post-work Samantha may be my favorite look of hers. She’s like a sexy librarian fantasy, and I’m the student who needs a tutor.

  “Hi back, baby.” The skin on her arms is pure velvet under my fingers, and when I kiss her, it’s like a nice long sip of Merlot after a long day.