Melt Page 7

  Samantha: I’ll be the one with oatmeal in my hair.

  Plugging my phone in to charge, I jumped in the shower.

  And may have taken a little extra time with my hand under the hot spray imagining the curvy brunette who’d ridden me like I was her prized stallion. Showing up to the office half an hour late didn’t matter when you were the boss.

  Thirteen

  Samantha

  Finally, she was down. Four Oreos and a glass of red wine sat on the coffee table, and the second season of Game of Thrones was cued up on the TV.

  So what, I was the only person not completely enthralled in the seventh season? Some of us had to work … and hadn’t realized how hot Jon Snow was until recently so they began bingeing just to see his beautiful face. Sue me.

  It was my night of relaxation. One of those rare times when Lennon went to sleep early with no fuss, and I got to be a Netflix-surfing, Instagram-stalking, junk food-eating creature camped out on my couch. I actually lived for these moments of guilty pleasures and peaceful ignorance of the issues of my world.

  So it would figure that the minute I sat down, my charcoal face mask just beginning to harden, that my phone would ring.

  “Ughhhh!” I made an annoyed sound, not too loud as to not wake the sleeping little girl in the next room, but enough to let my frustration out.

  Staring at the screen, I saw a familiar face. One that made me smile, and my annoyance at getting a late start in Westeros subsided.

  “Well hi there!” I picked up the FaceTime call, the black cream on my face scary and hilarious.

  “Oh I see that when you move to the East Coast, beauty just goes right downhill.”

  Lila, my best friend from Seattle, chirped back happily from the other end of the connection. Her short blond hair curled around her shoulders in that edgy, artistic way every girl could pull off back on the West Coast. Her blue eyes sparkle with sarcasm as we look at each other for the first time in months.

  "Sorry I've been so damn busy. Work has been ... exhausting but great. And between that and making sure the little princess is living the life, I basically just sleep whenever I can."

  She settles back into her couch, and from what I can see of her condo, not much has changed. A pang of homesickness for Seattle hits me. I had some wonderful times there, an entire life and family of friends and coworkers.

  "Okay I can forgive you, but just this once. Plus, I need a place to stay when I decide to visit, so I guess we will have to stay friends. How is my favorite little brat?"

  Lila was my go-to babysitter whenever I needed her, and she was the one I spent most weekends with. She'd accompany Lennon and I to the park or the mall; she was there for my daughter more than Derek was. I knew they missed each other, because Lila would often text me silly selfies to show to Lennon during the week.

  "She's good, loving having my mom around and she really likes her preschool. Except the other day she came home telling me she learned the F-word, but that she couldn't tell me what it meant. I told her that just this once, she could tell me. Lila, my heart was pounding so fast, I was not prepared. And you know what she said to me?"

  Her smile is expectant. "What did she say?"

  I have to swallow a laugh. “She got all quiet, and then she goes ... Fagina. FAGINA! I swear to God, I almost bust out laughing. I was so fucking thankful she didn’t say fuck.”

  The phone jumbles a bit as the screen swings, and Lila’s cackles fill the air. “Oh my God, you almost just made me pee. That is too freaking hilarious. That’s my girl.”

  I pick up my glass of wine, not able to resist the beautiful scarlet that will numb my thoughts soon. "So what's up with you? How's the hospital? Any boy updates?"

  She sighs. "The hospital is good, babies always gotta be born and I'm the one holding mama's hand. Ugh men, but definitely more like boys. The last date I went on, the guy drove a crotch rocket and expected me to ride with no helmet, in a mini skirt. I didn't even make it to dinner, I refused to go more than a mile when I swallowed a bug."

  I cringed but laughed. "Oh lord, why do some of these guys even exist? At least you're still bringing tiny humans into the world. It feels like just yesterday you were reaching between my thighs and pulling that screaming girl out."

  It's true, I'd met one of my best friends in Seattle because she was my labor and delivery nurse. We bonded over our hate of Everybody Loves Raymond, the only thing on the hospital TV for eight hours of my labor, and hiking. She'd seen some of my inspirational pictures that I'd planned out in a book to help me through birth, and we had gotten to chatting on which trails we liked best.

  And out of a love for mountains, a hatred of a comedian, and the fact that we had both intimately seen my vagina, a friendship was born.

  "Why are you so obsessed with me seeing your va-jay-jay? It looks just like any other, so don't expect me to go telling you that you have some perfect puss. What's up with you on the guy front? Has douche-nozzle contacted you?"

  Lila knew the ins and outs of my breakup with Derek, and had been instrumental in helping me leave him. She wasn't a friend who would stand by diplomatically and let me make mistake after mistake, she actually spoke her mind when it came to the tough stuff. I really valued that.

  “Yes, Derek has contacted me, but only to cancel multiple visits to see Lennon. I’d never say this in front of my daughter, but God, I could kill the man. Sometimes I envision dunking him face first into a vat of Tabasco, just to see his eyes burn.”

  “Brutal yet delicious, love it. And fuck him, seriously, fuck him and his hippie, free to the world attitude. Man up, grow a sack, and take care of your kid. Moving on though, any hot boy action over there on Capitol Hill?”

  I don’t know if I should mention Jake. It seems too soon to be dating someone, but that is what I’m doing. And I like him; he’s sexy and nice and doesn’t make things awkward even with our hiccups. Plus, the one person I can talk to this about is Lila, so I might as well go for it.

  “Soooo, I’m kind of … seeing someone.”

  A piece of chocolate stops halfway into her mouth, and she drops it. “No fucking way! I didn’t think you’d actually answer in that way! Shit, I’m so involved already. Tell me everything!”

  I laugh, settling more into my couch. I miss this girl time, to giggle like high schoolers and gossip.

  “Okay, well … it’s actually funny because we knew each other. Sort of. He worked in the fitness center when I was in college, and apparently used to check me out. Which, duh, makes me feel like I still have my freshman year ass and that does all kinds of things for your confidence. His name is Jake, he’s thirty and owns his own food truck business here. He’s really successful, and he’s one of those people that you can tell likes their job … like actually doesn’t mind waking up and doing work all day because he’s in love with it. Which I didn’t know I thought was sexy, but oh my God does it make the panties a little damp.”

  Lila fans herself. “Super, super hot. Responsibility makes my nipples hard these days.”

  “We went on a first date and he asked if Lennon could come along, which ended up being a disaster and almost derailed the whole thing. But then I saw him at this bar the other week, and I ended up going back to his place.”

  “Tell me there was sex. Please, God say you had sex with a man.” She bites her nails.

  “I had sex with a man. Great sex. Mind blowing sex. Best sex I’ve probably ever had, although when you’ve only been with three guys is that saying much?”

  “If your toes were curling and you were worshipping the orgasm gods, then yes, you can claim it.” She nods sagely.

  “I worshipped them all right, worshipped them more than once. Anyway, afterward he was super sweet, and he made me breakfast the next morning, and now we’ve been talking for about two weeks over text and short calls.”

  My best friend sighs like a love-sick puppy. “God, I am so jealous and proud at the same time.”

  I chew on my lip. “B
ut … part of me doesn’t know. It’s not just me I have to worry about, and it seems so soon to be dating after Derek. He’s already had a blip on the perfection scale when it comes to Lennon, and I don’t know … I never want to corner someone into becoming a parent. And that’s what he’s signing up for if we get serious. Part of me really likes him, but part of me also is scared shitless because who the hell would want to take on this much baggage?”

  There is silence as I watch her eyes assess me. “Okay, I’m hearing you on the scary feelings, but … isn’t it his call whether or not he wants to take all of that on? And you should not feel guilty for anything, because I know that is where some of this is coming from. You were in love, and had a child who is one of the coolest little chicks on the planet. This Jake guy clearly is into you, because he keeps coming back, and we all know that if a guy wants to be with you, he’ll make it work. Nothing about you is going to turn him away, he’s already seen it all and clearly, he likey. So stop doubting it. Live a little, have hot sex, be adored. You deserve it. You don’t need to think about marriage or forever right now, just let things flow and see where they go.”

  My stomach dipped, because I knew she was ultimately right. It was like ever since I’d had Lennon, my attitude on men shifted directly to marriage and long term whenever one came into the picture. But I didn’t have to find a husband, I was doing just fine on my own. It was just my messed-up mommy hormones, or more likely society, that told me I needed to pair off and find a mate.

  “And he owns a food truck goddammit, indulge your hot chef fantasy a little. Lick chocolate off his abs. Oh God, he has abs, doesn’t he?”

  “Six individual ones I can trace with my tongue.” I wiggled my butt at being so sassy.

  “Fuck, I’m so jealous. Enough about you, jeez Samantha. Can we discuss the Real Housewives of New York because I am dying without our Wednesday night wine dates!”

  I was all too happy to delve into trashy TV talk with her, my anxiety about Jake calmer than it was just hours ago.

  Fourteen

  Samantha

  The sounds of Beauty and the Beast rang out from the living room, Lennon’s off key singing both adorable and grating.

  “Okay, so I’m definitely going with this one.” I look at my mother as I stare at my own reflection in the floor length mirror.

  After emptying out literally my entire closet, I’ve settled on a simple blue and white striped wrap dress with tan wedge sandals. It’s cute, but dressy enough if Jake is springing for a fancy place.

  “You look gorgeous, sweetie. But … I thought you said it didn’t go well with Jake before. Although, I’m not sure how, since he’s so handsome, Samantha. And he’s always so nice with the neighborhood kids.”

  I rolled my eyes, my previous words to my mother working against me. Wasn’t that always how it went?

  “I’m still … testing the water. He’s nice, and funny, and it’s nice just to be looked at like I’m a woman and not a diaper-bag carrier or warm body who sleeps beside him.”

  “I won’t say I told you so … but I told you in year four of your relationship with Derek that if you had no ring by that time, the man was never going to marry you. Never give up the milk before he buys the cow.”

  My mother nods to herself sagely, as if she hadn’t just related my vagina and sex to a barn animal. But I couldn’t argue, she was right. And she’d agreed to come over and watch Lennon for a few hours while I pretended to be a normal single person, so I had to remain cordial.

  My heart and head still flip-flopped between good idea and bad idea on this whole date with Jake thing. When I’d gone back to his place after the bar, it had been a spur of the moment, one-night stand type of deal. Sure, it helped that I’d had a banter with him beforehand, and was a semi-stranger after apparently seeing him in the college gym … but after the first date I was so sure there wasn’t going to be a second. I guess some people were right when they said a magical cock could change how you felt about a man.

  “Mommy, when I grow up, I want to be Lumière!” Lennon ran in, dancing around with nothing but her big girl underwear on.

  We’d been having trouble with potty-training, but she was finally starting not to have accidents during the day. And if I promised to buy her pink butterfly undies, she was even better.

  Also, great … my daughter’s biggest goals were to become a talking candlestick.

  “You can be whatever you want to be.” I kissed the top of her head, knowing that there was no way in hell she could be a singing inanimate object, but that discussion was for another day.

  The buzzer to the door rang, and I hesitated as to what I should do. I’d taken a leap inviting Jake into Lennon’s life at the first chance, and it hadn’t paid off well. All of the parenting books, and apps and opinionated Facebook moms would advise against inviting strange men into your children’s lives until you’re completely sure and serious about continuing a relationship.

  But … I’d always done parenting my way, and my daughter wasn’t completely screwed up so I must be doing something right. I wanted to always be honest with Lennon about my motives, and to show her that while I loved her, I could also be independent and go after things that I wanted.

  So I decided to buzz him up. “Mom, can you just hit the button for the lobby door?”

  I heard her hit it while I put the earring in my lobe, and then I headed for the living room.

  “Well, it’s just a party in here, isn’t it?” Jake smirked as I opened the door, Lennon belting “Be Our Guest” behind me in her underwear.

  He leaned in for a hug, the scent of sandalwood cologne surrounding me. I could feel the bulge of his arms through the rolled up sleeves of his button up, and I wanted to stay like this for a long time. If only my mother wasn’t waiting for us, probably cataloging the amount of seconds we hugged.

  “Sorry for the chaos, but I thought it would be good for her to know where I was going. Or she’ll ask a million questions. Hell, she’ll ask a million questions anyway.”

  “It’s a good thing I brought this then.” He pulled out one of those big rainbow lollipops, and followed it with a small bouquet of flowers. “Lennon, this is for you.”

  She turned, stopping her theatrical performance, and ran with little grabby hands to him. “Ohhhhh! Tank you!”

  Jake bent down to give it to her, my view of his perfectly sculpted ass just a plus as he interacted with my daughter.

  “And these, Molly, are for you. Beautiful flowers for a beautiful woman.”

  Okay, now he was just being a kiss ass. And my mother fell right for his trap.

  “Oh Jake, how sweet of you! And sunflowers, my favorite.” She batted her eyelashes at him like she was some kind of cartoon princess.

  “Yuck, enough. Is this your way of trying to get me to like you? Ignore the girl you’re interested in while giving attention to the ones you’re not?” I rolled my eyes in a dramatic way, teasing him.

  He leaned in for only us to hear. “You get the big present later, if you know what I mean.

  It was cheesy as hell, but my lady parts still perked up at the titillating innuendo.

  “So, you ready to go? You look gorgeous by the way.” He stuck out his arm like he was about to escort me to the elevators.

  “I told her so!” Mom chimed in, still trying to get Jake’s attention.

  “Yeah, I am, just let me grab my purse. Lennon, come give Mommy a kiss goodbye.”

  She didn’t budge from in front of the TV, and I knew she wouldn’t for the next half an hour. Walking to her, I bent down and smacked a wet one on her cheek.

  “Ick, Mommy, messy! Bring home ice cream?” She stuck her chubby little hand in her mouth, and I didn’t know when she’d be able to disassociate Jake with ice cream.

  Probably never. Which probably meant his business plan was working well.

  “All right, I’ll be home soon,” I said, turning to my mother.

  “I’ll make sure to have her home by
eleven, and don’t worry, we won’t go parking or anything.” Jake winked at my mom.

  I had to roll my eyes again as she giggled while we were walking out the door.

  * * *

  “You’re quite the charmer, you know. It’s probably what makes you such a good business owner.” I pointed my fork at him over the best seafood gnocchi I’d ever eaten in my life.

  “It’s a gift and a curse. Women, they just flock to me.” Jake folds his hands, very talented hands might I add, under his chin like a good Catholic school boy.

  “I’ll overlook that cocky comment if you’ll give me another bite of that pork risotto.” I stuck my fork across the table, nabbing a mouthful of his delicious plate.

  “You know what I learned about you on this date? You’re a fork vulture. You’re one of those people who takes bites off another person’s plate without asking.”

  I chuckle self-consciously. “And that’s a bad thing? We’re on a date, isn’t it assumed that I get to taste your meal too?”

  “Actually, it’s kind of cute. And I don’t mind at all. This place is one of my favorites, so I’m glad you like it.” His green eyes flicker with the dance of the candle in between us.

  “Like it? I think I’m going to move in over there by the kitchen and let them feed me as a form of rent.”

  I wasn’t joking. Every course had been better than the last. And with a self-proclaimed wine expert, in all honesty he really did know his stuff, the drinks were paired fabulously. All in all, it had been a really great date … one that I surprisingly did not want to end. I felt the minutes ticking by, like I was Cinderella at the ball and at midnight I’d turn into a pumpkin whose daughter climbed into bed with her in the middle of the night and kicked her in the face.

  “So, I know we’ve had some great conversation, but now I’m going to ask the dreaded ‘first couple of dates’ questions because I need to get to know you a little deeper if I’m going to allow you to take me out for a second fantastic meal.” I folded my napkin in my lap, squaring with him.